Lessons from the Field is a series from one of our own who is serving overseas. Please join us
as we learn about what God has taught and continues to teach her as she
and her family serve. To view the earlier post from Amy Lynn* click here.
7. A Tight Rope Life – How to do it all, family,
language and ministry.
A
friend of mine once commented that life in the Middle East is a lot like the
magician who holds the metal contraption and carefully begins adding plates,
spinning them in sequence, until he is balancing all of them. One tip too far in either direction or
forgetting to spin each place in its turn would send the plates crashing
down. He was trying to help me
understand that taking on too much can many times leave you in the midst of a
huge mess of broken glass. What I
learned over time is that the magician is really no different than us, except
that he has mastered the craft of how to keep all the plates spinning in the
air at the same time.
Like
a physician who investigates the problems at hand and then triages life
threatening to simple, becoming a master practitioner takes time, wisdom and
patience. Triage originated in World War
I by French doctors who needed to quickly decide how to process an incoming
patient so that they can provide the right care, at the right time, in the
right way. These four categories of
triage are, immediate, delayed, minimal, and expectant. Here is a simple explanation of the
categories, which can easily be translated into everyday life.
Immediate: The casualty
requires immediate medical attention and will not survive if not seen soon. Any
compromise to the casualty's respiration, hemorrhage control, or shock control
could be fatal.
Delayed: The casualty
requires medical attention within 6 hours. Injuries are potentially
life-threatening, but can wait until the Immediate casualties are stabilized
and evacuated.
Minimal: "Walking wounded," the casualty requires medical attention
when all higher priority patients have been evacuated, and may not require
stabilization or monitoring.
Expectant: The casualty is expected not to reach higher medical
support alive without compromising the treatment of higher priority patients.
Care should not be abandoned, spare any remaining time and resources after
Immediate and Delayed patients have been treated.
Immediate - Arriving on the field
brought a barrage of tasks that had to completed and many times I over
pressured myself into thinking that company tasks took priority over the most
immediate needs in my life. My husband,
my family and my home required the most immediate action each day. Trying to balance without looking to their
needs first, inevitably, led to crashing plates. I let a lot of plates crash, because my focus
was on work rather than teaching and training my own little blessings
first. Remembering, who I was in
accordance with Titus 2 teaching really helped me discern how to triage
better. It took some time to get there
emotionally, but realizing there was a reason “pillars” like our friend Lottie
M. did not even allow young moms to take on huge responsibilities of work while
they had babies clinging to there skirts helped me greatly.
After family and home, language was
my most pressing need for culture adjustment and fitting in, but unfortunately
there were days, weeks and even months I remember waving my kids off so I could
study. Feeling helpless was a daily
occurrence and the guilt I felt as my son struggled day in and day out because
he and his schooling were not triaged correctly was overwhelming at times. A friend recently told me that she felt there
was no shortage of holding one another accountable to language and work, but
that she wished someone would hold her more accountable for her marriage and
her kids. I totally agree from my own
experience. Learning language is vital
but not to the determinate of your family.
These are hard questions but is it really obedience to neglect your
family for the sake of your “ministry”?
How much time is too much spent learning to disciple others when you
fail to disciple your own children? I
don’t know all the answers of course, but I do know that the time with my kids
will fly by. (In fact, I have one preparing
to head off to boarding school next year!)
You only have so much time to be with them and to be obedient with this
calling.
Delayed
– Putting things off for a little while is not lazy, especially if you are
working on something more important at the time. This doesn’t mean completely letting go. Things like reports, answering emails,
connecting with your prayer networks back home etc are good things but in the
balancing act that is living overseas, they can be placed into the delayed
category without feeling guilt.
Minimal
– Unfortunately, laundry seems to always fall into this category but when kids
can’t find clean underwear it is time to re-triage. In this category it was imperative to
critically look at some things that I had previously placed into a higher
category and realize that they just weren’t as important right now. Sometimes, that means studying less than I
think is necessary. That may also mean
cooking something more simple rather than insisting I try out that new recipe. Learning to let go can be difficult but
cleansing.
Expectant
– This was the hardest category to discern.
I never like to let things go, but sometimes, it became necessary to
realize that maybe I wasn’t called to continue trying to spin that plate any
longer. There are things I am called to
do but things that others are called to do as well. If I try to take on every task that comes my
way, I am neglecting to allow others to grow in their walk by doing the
job. One of the biggest lessons I
learned in this category was delegation.
This is nothing new for me but there is always a small part that
delights in proving my skills. The only
one I need to prove anything to is God and if I can’t look at some of these
things as “dead” to me, allowing others to pick it up, I will never grow and
will spend a lot of time struggling unnecessarily.
Learning to spin the plates required
balance and a correct discernment as to when, how and in what order to do
it. There was never a shortage of things
vying for my time and attention but as a friend once said, when I “have zeal for His Word, prayer, worship, being holy,
serving my husband and loving my kids, all the other things will grow up in time from that root.”
Serving
my husband is a whole other ball of wax that requires unconditional love,
submission, respect and a desire to honor.
If you are like me at all, learning to live with and love your spouse
overseas can be a challenge. Lesson 8 is
A Second Honeymoon – Life with your spouse!
Amy Lynn* has been married to her husband
for 15 years. He graduated last May from SEBTS with an MDIV in
International Church Planting. They are currently serving in the Middle
East. They have 4 children, ages 13, 11, 5 and 2. Amy Lynn enjoys
reading, writing and working out when she is not studying Arabic or
visiting friends.
*Name has been changed to ensure protection for our contributor.
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