Lessons from the Field #3

Lessons from the Field is a series from one of our own who is serving overseas.  Please join us as we learn about what God has taught and continues to teach her as she and her family serve. To view the earlier post from Amy Lynn* click here.

My previous employer expected new personnel to move quickly from learner to leader.  From day one, we had a saying that you should constantly be training your replacement.  As you worked, your supervisors or other higher ups would be mentoring you and teaching you to lead, especially those who showed promise for future leaders.  God has taught me many, many lessons on leadership, year after year honing my skills in a variety of ways from secular employment to leading a women’s bible study.  In many ways, there has been a certain level of pride that followed me into the field because of this.  God used this last year and half to continue humbling me and refining me, reminding me that this journey is not about thinking you have finally arrived but rather, a daily stripping away of what you hold dear in order to bring you closer to Him.  Leadership was one of the comfortable blankets wrapped in my death grip, and God has used this over and over to teach and train me.  That is why lesson #3 is:

3.  A Tight Lip – Look, Listen and Feel, Leading by Example

The first few months I was full of anticipation, remembering the things I had learned in theory and now felt ready to try out, desiring to spread my wings.  Unfortunately, this was often met with unexpected results.  Within weeks, I began to feel as though I was treated like a green shoot with no experience, rather than a 35-year-old women with 4 kids, who served in the Navy and had years of experience at home.  Talk about humbling!  It took several months for me to quit being angry about it.  I spent a lot of time complaining that I wasn’t appreciated or listened to.  I felt like my perspective and gifts were being stifled until I proved myself as a seasoned worker.  It felt unfair and I spent a lot of time judging and criticizing, rolling around in my own misery.  

I had blinded myself to what God was trying to teach me, becoming completely distracted by how I felt, rather than receiving and acknowledging that gentle nudge from the Spirit.  He had a better lesson for me to learn.  It wasn’t that He didn’t want me to lead, but I needed to learn in this season how to do it by example and through influence, while keeping my mouth closed and my eyes and ears open.  I could not learn how to become a better leader unless I spent time in observation, thought and meditation.  God stripped me of the right I felt to be a leader and instead showed me that sanctification was more important.  I have found that He never lets us stay too long comfortable in our relationship but instead pushes us and gently coaxes us into a deeper intimacy.  Slowly by looking, listening and feeling my way to see what God was doing, what he was teaching me in each and every circumstance and by focusing on what I could learn, my perspective changed. 

 

God began using my previous experiences to shape and mold how I evaluated what was going on around me.  I began taking notes on the things I saw and what God was teaching me through them.  One of the early lessons when we were evacuated was that those in authority over you might not always act in a way that you believe is in your best interest, but remember that God is the conductor of the symphony.  Rather than condemn the leadership, I started to show grace realizing that we are all human and imperfect and this is no excuse to not extend grace.  I also saw the importance of really knowing your people.  Our team spent a lot of time in what I lovingly refer to as “forced intimacy”, which led to really getting to know each other, our struggles, strengths, weaknesses and how we were coping with those.  Knowing these details helped immensely in my journey of how to relate well to others and become team.  

There were other times that lack or failure in communication helped me realize its vital importance when leading. Communication and honesty is key in leadership.  God continued to remind me of things like how to delegate better which allows the team to really excel in their giftings.   I took time to try and hone these skills in the small things God allowed me the authority over.  If I was in charge of fellowship meal, rather than take on the whole task myself, it became a way to learn leading by example, delegating to others from their strengths.  I began trying to purposely and intentionally look at the team’s giftings and find ways I could encourage them.  Just because God has not placed me in a direct role of leadership does not mean I can not act like one. Always take the initiative to set the example rather than complain about leadership. 

One other smaller yet just as important rule I began setting for myself in dealing with peers and leaders was to quit sending long blovating emails.  Too often I learned the hard way that the longer the email, the easier I was misunderstood.  I had to learn that my leaders are very busy people as we all are, and directness and thinking before I sent anything is a much better approach.  Another instance in which God guided me to control those wiry emotions.

Ultimately, God used and will use these lessons to guide me onto the path he has planned for my husband and I, and in the end we will be better leaders because of this time.  Learning to lead by example has not been an easy task for me, as I always want to take the bull by the horns so to speak, however it is a much-needed skill in kingdom work.  God will prepare you in his time and use you when he and you are ready for the task.  Which leads to the next lesson, never assume you know what God is doing!  See you next week!

Amy Lynn* has been married to her husband for 15 years.  He graduated last May from SEBTS with an MDIV in International Church Planting.  They are currently serving in the Middle East.  They have 4 children, ages 13, 11, 5 and 2.  Amy Lynn enjoys reading, writing and working out when she is not studying Arabic or visiting friends. 
*Name has been changed to ensure protection for our contributor.