Expectations. We all have them.  We expect ourselves to make perfect grades.  We expect others to treat us right.  We expect God to act on our behalf.  Our professors expect things of us.  Our churches expect us to serve.  We expect ourselves to serve.  Our culture expects us to look a certain way.  On and on the list goes.  Now don’t get me wrong, expectations are not a bad thing.  We should have them.  

But what happens when these expectations don’t turn out the way we want them to?  Are our expectations realistic?  Or are we demanding things of ourselves and others that Christ doesn’t expect?

In Deuteronomy 10:12-13 (NIV), Moses asks the Israelites,

“What does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?”  

Even though this was directed at Israel, I don’t believe the command has changed.  Jesus even confirms this in the New Testament.  He sums up the law as, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;’ and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Luke 10:27, NIV)  Yes, we are required to serve, but first we are required to love God with all that we are.  When we do this well, then we will love others well.  When we give our time to expectations¾to things or people that God hasn’t asked us to commit to, we get tired, burnt out, and frustrated.  We are left without energy to do the tasks He has called us to do.  Jesus tells us, “. . . My yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30, NIV).  His tasks are not burdensome.  We may get tired, but He is our strength. 

In Luke 10:38-42 (NIV), we read about Martha and Mary.  The Scripture says, “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made . . .” Did these really have to be made?  Was Jesus really concerned about the meal they would have?  I don’t think so.  In fact, He was God, so He could have created an extravagant meal out of nothing.  I think Martha put expectations on herself that Jesus never put on her.  When she complains about her sister, Jesus responds, “Mary has chosen what is better . . .” 

Our sinful tendency is to try and do everything.  At least I do!  Saying no is so hard for me.  But, we must learn to step back, ask the Lord if this is something He wants us to do, and then be willing to say no, if He asks us too.  We can be sure when we say no to something “good” that He will give us all the strength we need to do what is “better.”

Ladies, what expectations have you put on yourselves that Jesus hasn’t required of you? 

Oh, Abba, transform and renew our minds so that we may learn your will for our lives.  Your will is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NIV) God, there is no one who needs to heed this message more than me!!  Give us the strength to say no to things that are not your best! 

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

My favorite siblings in Scripture are Lazarus, Martha, and Mary. These three single adults lived in Bethany and often opened their home to Jesus and His disciples. Jesus loved them dearly (John 11:5). Whenever He went through Bethany He was sure to stay with them. He must have enjoyed their company and hospitality.

Martha, Mary and I are good friends. I relate to both of them in different ways on various and often occasions. I love to study the way in which Jesus related to each of the sisters according to what they needed. With Martha He was more straightforward and assertive. He met this strong woman with Strength and helped her to have more faith in Him. Jesus lovingly reminded her of the right priorities when she complained to him of Mary’s “laziness” (Luke 10:40-42). And He stirred up her faith when He met her after Lazarus’ death. He even drew the words “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world” from this faith-filled woman (John 11:20-27). But with docile Mary, He was gentle and tender, teaching her as she sat attentively at His feet (Luke 10:38), weeping with her (John 11:33-35), and allowing her to anoint His feet with expensive perfume (John 12:3).

I completely relate to Martha as she griped to Jesus (much like I would have) that Mary was just sitting around while she’s trying to serve Jesus and His many hungry men (Luke 10:38-42). But He had said to her that only “one thing is necessary…” and it wasn’t the food or the presentation…it was Jesus and her need to have her humbled heart sitting at His feet. And then, in that demeanor of humility and adoration, she would be able to serve others with joy and love. She needed a new perspective on what was happening in her house.  Wisdom Himself was teaching in her living room; her kitchen duties were not the main attraction.

It seems that Martha learned her lesson well. We know this because, just a few days after Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead, we find her serving her dear guests again. This time apparently with deep gratitude and no complaints:

“Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. ² So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. ³ Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” John 12:1-3

Mary’s perfume was not the only lovely fragrance in the house. Martha was giving off a pleasing aroma to the Lord as well (2 Cor 2:14-16).

We are called to be servants. Jesus said that the least shall be greatest (Mark 9:35) and showed us an example to follow by becoming the Suffering Servant Himself (Isa 52:13-53:12). But I’ve found that you really don’t know how well you have assumed the role of a servant until you are treated like one. You can think you’re being servant-hearted as long as you’re voluntarily serving with joy and self-congratulations in your heart…until someone expects you to serve them. And then, at least in my sinful heart, pride and defensiveness reveals itself with a vengeance.

I have in my life one particular person who regularly causes me to have to check my heart. This person does not ask me to do things, he/she tells me to do things… and sometimes without words. I am simply handed something to do and expected to hop to it. It is so contrary to what I am used to that it throws me for a loop…though I am getting better at my initial response to it. I’ve been spoiled by the many people whom I joyfully serve that make requests without presuming that I will do it (and I love them for it). But when we are called to serve someone who is difficult, it is then that we are given a greater opportunity to really be a servant like Christ. Jesus washed the feet of His disciples…even Judas’, knowing that he was about to betray Him. And He served us all by allowing His own creation to nail Him to a tree. Surely we can be servants to those who are a little less grateful for our service… It was for ungrateful people such as these (us) that His blood was spilled (Rom 5:10).

 “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13

Carrie Pickelsimer has a BA in music and an MA in Biblical Counseling. She loves to see people grow in their faith and in their love for God. She works as a faculty secretary at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.  She enjoys using her gifts to help these godly men and to serve in her local church.
You can visit her blog at surprisedbylove.wordpress.com

During our time at Southeastern, we wondered how God was going to use us and where He would send us. Would we go overseas after graduation? Would we serve in a local church close to what we knew as home? Or would that local church be far away from where we grew up? Through all of these questions for what we would do and where our family would be lead, I also often wondered what my role in our ministry would be and what it would look like. I will jump ahead and tell you that my husband is a church planter and we live in downtown Denver, Colorado where we planted The Summit Church beginning in January 2011. That means for eight months, I've been a pastor's wife. And considering my limited experience, I felt it was appropriate to share with you what I've discovered this year about what a pastor's wife is not, rather than what a pastor's wife is.

A pastor's wife is not someone who finds her identity in being a pastor's wife.

I often feared that I would be defined by my role in the church, being known more as a pastor’s wife than just plain Megan. However, something that I’ve learned quickly in Denver is that finding my identity in my role (or even myself) will ultimately fail, and the gospel declares that I’m given a greater identity by God. The identity that has been given to me and the identity I must continually return to is my identity in Christ and what God has declared true of me through His work.

I’m learning that my role doesn’t make me more important in the church and that my role doesn’t make me less needy of God’s grace. While I once feared the pressure, extra responsibilities and expectations that I associated with the title “pastor’s wife,” I’ve learned that when I fall short, God’s opinion of me doesn’t change, because His favor is based on Christ’s work and not my own. And I’ve learned that when I succeed, I have no reason to boast because I can’t add onto the favor God has already extended to me in Christ.

Practically, this has meant that instead of my contentment being contingent on how I’m succeeding or failing at my “role,” God has given me consistent joy in finding my identity in Christ.

A pastor's wife is not someone who ministers just because she's a pastor's wife.

I also feared that my role would mean that there would be a greater pressure from myself and others to do ministry, when I wasn’t sure if God had “called” me into ministry. However, I’ve been learning that faithfulness to a lifestyle of ministry is a call on every Christian woman’s life, not just for those who happen to be married to pastors.

There are no special commandments given to me because of who my spouse is. Rather, because I am a Christian, I have been given a call to be a minister for Jesus. I have been given commandments such as being a good student of God's word and learning (1 Timothy 2:11), being a disciple-maker for Jesus (Matthew 28:19), and teaching what is good to younger women (Titus 2:3). These are lofty commandments and they come from a God who knows our strengths and weaknesses and finds joy in seeing us serve Him and one another. God is teaching me that he has given ALL women these lofty commandments – not just pastors’ wives.

Being so new to this role, I often wondered if I was qualified to do all this, especially when it came to teaching younger women (Titus 2:3). This was a verse that I used to dismiss and promise myself that I would take to heart once I had gray hair - once I have more life experiences, once I have children, once we have been in ministry for a bit longer, I would do this.

My dear pastor (who also happens to be my husband) broke this down in a recent sermon. Bryan explained that there are areas in each of our lives where we are "older" than others. Sometimes this looks like teaching a newer believer what it means to really memorize scripture when you have been a Christian for a bit longer, or it could mean spending time talking with another woman about her two year old marriage when you have a four year old marriage.

When I was in nursing school, one of my professors gently told us that as nurses we will never be through learning. I’ve learned the same applies in the Christian life. I once thought that the ongoing learning and studying of the Bible were meant for those guys who went to seminary. But In 1 Timothy, women are given the commandment to "learn quietly with all submissiveness". Ladies, that wasn't a typo. Megan Barley, as a woman within God's family and not as a woman whose husband is a pastor, has been given the commandment to learn! You, whether your husband is a pastor or a plumber, have been commanded to learn, to be a student of God's word, and to put Scripture on your heart.

Women, let us follow God's commands. Let us follow these commands because we have the privilege of being a woman in God's family. Let us follow these commands because of that privilege and not because of a role.
 

Megan Barley lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband, Bryan, and their chocolate lab, Penny. Megan graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill and is a Registered Nurse who works for the Denver Public School system as a School Nurse. Bryan is the lead pastor of the Summit Church. You can keep up with the Barleys through Megan's blog at http://ourlittleurbanlife.blogspot.com. 

Today's blog is an excerpt from JD Greear's blog.  You can view the entire sermon here.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress 

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27 

We’re going to focus on the 1st phrase…

Stop for minute and think about that. Why do you think James say this? It’s such a strong statement, isn’t it? Pure religion before God and the Father is this… In other words, if you’re not doing this, you
may not have “pure” religion. Corrupted.

• In fact, in chapter 2 James is going to say that if you don’t do this… if you don’t actively care for the fatherless and the widow then your faith isn’t real.

• So, why? Why is this put up as a test for genuine faith?
 

Well, 1st, realize this (and it is very important): the point is not trying to develop some artificial, legalistic checklist that says, “Do you have any direct involvement with ‘orphans and widows’? If so, you’re good;
if not, you’re not a real Christian...” Lots of people who are involved in orphan care do so for wrong motives; lots of people who love God aren’t involved directly with that ministry… The Gospel never gives you checklists like that, about anything.

Rather, what this means is that someone who has experienced the transformation of the Gospel naturally gravitates toward loving those who are in need, whoever they are; and, if you don’t do that, if you are not leveraging your life and your talents and your resources to bless others with the Gospel, you might not (for all your religion and your Bible verses and your sanitized behavior…) you might not really
be saved!
 

Listen:
No religion is genuine, no matter how many verses you know or how intensely you worship, that doesn’t lead you to love and sacrifice for those in need.

Or, let me say it this way…
You cannot say you are a disciple of Christ if you turn a deaf ear to the poor.
We have a lot of Christians here who think that they are Christians because they prayed a prayer… Lots of people in every religion pray…
 

Praying a prayer doesn’t make you a disciple of Christ; following Jesus does, and Jesus poured out His life for others. So, the real question James is asking is this… and one some of you really need to consider… “You say you are a Christian… but are you leveraging your life to bring salvation and peace to others in need…?”

• You guys that are in college… What’s your primary goal… Are you in all of this to develop your talents for personal benefit… or is your primary goal leveraging your life for the prosperity of God’s kingdom?

• And you that are older in your career… what are you doing with the ways God has increased you? Are you using your career success just to get nicer and nicer stuff for yourself; or, are you using your increased capacity to give more, to serve more?

• Is your trajectory toward greater service, or nicer and nicer stuff?

• Are you chasing for the American dream or the Gospel dream?

• Caring for the fatherless and widows is not a merit badge for some hyper-motivated super-Christians, but the mark of any and every true disciple…

 

 Pure religion before God and the Father is this…

This month we’re asked for thoughts on service…looking back over decades in ministry, so much boils down to don’t quit.

God’s glory is at stake.  Life isn’t about me.  Or my family.  Or even, gasp, ‘our ministry’.  It’s about Jesus. 

I live for the glory of the One who died on the cross to pay for my sins, the only Hope and Light for a dying world.  I have been bought with an unfathomable price.  So I’ve given up the right to quit.      

I love what Mother Teresa once told a young missionary with a passion to care for lepers:

“It happened once…a young Brother came to me and said, “Mother, I have a special call to work with the lepers.  I want to give my life to them, my whole being.  Nothing attracts me more than that.”  I know for a fact that he truly loved those afflicted with leprosy.  I, in turn, answered him, “I think that you are somewhat wrong, Brother.  Our vocation consists in belonging to Jesus. The work is nothing but a means to express our love for him.  The work in itself is not important.  What is important is for you to belong to Jesus and he is the one who offers you the means to express that belonging.” (Jose Luis Gonzalez-Balado, Mother Teresa: In My Own Words)

It’s really all about Jesus.  So I do not quit.   

 

And yes, of course, there are verses that feed my soul - I memorized Galatians 6:9 while we were still in seminary, “let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  So true, so very true. 

There are verses far more profound than the phrase don’t quit.  Verses empowered by the Spirit of the Living God – living and active words – words sharper than any two-edged sword.  Develop an arsenal of those verses.  And, when the fiery darts come in the service of ministry, take up the shield of faith.  Tell yourself the truth of scripture instead of listening to your emotions…especially when you’re tempted to quit. 

Women in the Bible have always intrigued me.  Their stories are varied, but they never show up on the pages of scripture randomly - God included them so we could learn from their example.  As a wife, the contrast of Esther vs. Haman’s wife captures my thoughts.  When confronted with great crisis, Esther began to fast and pray and chose her words wisely.  Haman’s wife spouted ungodly counsel and urged her husband on in unrighteousness, then turned on him in his darkest hour. 

Who do I choose to be?  The woman who fasts and prays…the one God can speak through?  Or the selfish wife of Haman, a woman who lashes out ‘just give up, your circumstances are hopeless’?  I choose to live for the glory of a God who empowers cracked and broken clay vessels for His glory.  A God who still works miracles in the lives of those who trust Him – no matter how their circumstances may appear.  So I cannot quit.

And I learn from Martha that, yes, many things need doing.  But my to-do list could probably be shorter and I could definitely lose the drive for perfection.  Spending time at Jesus’ feet, like Mary, gives me perspective.  I have to be honest and acknowledge there really are tremendous needs all around us when we’re in ministry.  Without perspective, the service required to meet these needs can seem crushing.  But God has promised all I need for life and godliness – sometimes when I want to quit, I have to realize I’ve taken on more than He is calling me to do.          

Jesus drew His disciples away for rest.  This Creator who fearfully and wonderfully made their bodies knew they needed rest.  How presumptuous of me, and how controlling, to suggest I’m so indispensable that I can’t draw away to rest.  Jesus also rose early to spend time with His Father.  What utter presumption, to think I can serve a day without His guidance and empowering – it’s as though I’m saying, ‘I can handle this day on my own, God – you’re not needed.’  Sometimes, the spiritual service of making time for a refreshed body and renewed mind are what gives me endurance in ministry.     

I find the people who made a difference in my life are the ones who did not quit.  Who didn’t go on to the next exciting adventure when life got hard…or boring.  Those heroes of the faith who proved to me, by their life, that Jesus is real and His Word is true. It’s all about Him.  Don’t quit.

 

Stephanie Mills loves being married to Richard. And mornings that start with a mug of coffee & an open Bible.  And, now that the kids are grown, exploring the world…often in hiking boots with a tent. Richard planted Faith Baptist in Youngsville, and it was amazing to raise PKs in a place where the whole family got to join God at work and see lives changed. She thinks it just doesn’t get any better than that!

It's May! Can you believe it?  For the month of May we will be discussing service here on Walking Worthy.  We have guest blogger's who will be talking about different forms of serving, such as serving overseas as a missionary, serving in the local church, serving your family and serving those around you on a daily basis.  So how are you serving?  Maybe this summer you are going on a mission trip, serving in a local outreach or intently serving your family?  We want to hear about it! 

We also have a great giveaway this month!  If you haven't had a chance to check out the Share Shop yet this is your chance!  Mrs. Debbie Ladd from the Share Shop is donating a Free Personal Shopping Day to one lucky winner!  The Share Shop has EVERYTHING!  Men's and women's clothing, children's clothing, kitchen appliances and everything in between!  This is a wonderful ministry that SEBTS has, and it is such a blessing!  To enter follow the steps below. Make sure you leave a comment for each step!

1. Become a Follower of Walking Worthy
2. Leave a comment of how you are serving or planning to serve over the next few months!
3. Like the SEBTS Women's Life page on Facebook
4. Share on Facebook
5. Share on Twitter

**also you can get an extra entry if you come to the Get Going event tonight!  Get Going is held in Jacumin-Simpson at 7 pm.  This is a special time of prayer and fellowship for the 2011 ladies who are preparing to deploy as missionaries overseas.  Make sure you fill out a registration form tonight!