I turned 43 this summer! 

In many ways I still feel 23 BUT the spattering of grey hairs and the fine wrinkles that are slowly appearing remind me that I AM getting older J  So why would I reveal my age in a public environment when it is something, as women, that we generally don’t speak of past the age of 30-something?  Revealing my age ties in with the purpose of this article – to show how we can be enslaved to different behaviors for large periods of our lives without realizing how long it has been or even at what initial age we began exhibiting the behavior. 

Ok, slow down, you might be thinking.  What in the world are you talking about?  I am talking about a subject that, I do believe, is a major issue in the lives of many women – eating disorders.

In the summer of 2010 – 3 years ago to date – God began an incredible work in my life which he completed this summer on Wednesday 31^st of July.  The journey began while I was teaching a Bible Study entitled Embracing the Uncluttered Life at the local church we were attending.  The third week was an in-depth look at the physical clutter in our lives, with specific emphasis on diet and exercise.  I commented to my husband during the week of preparation that I was expecting it to be the easiest of the sessions. I had been involved in competitive sport from the young age of 5 and always had an interest in diet and how it affects the human body in terms of health and strength.  Well, was I in for an awakening – it was the toughest session to prepare AND to teach because God revealed to me a very deep obsession with my physical appearance (specifically in the area of my weight) and an even deeper obsession with competition (in the area of sport) because of a deep-rooted insecurity to prove my worth as a person.   As I spent time searching His Word for material to teach the ladies, he brought to the surface an unwillingness on my part to admit that I had been enslaved to various forms of weight control – bingeing, purging, fat burners, and heavy strength training.  All of these things had given me a strong, slim body BUT had left me with an emptiness and heaviness within my spirit that He began to peel away.  It was an exhausting time, but, as He is faithful in finishing what He begins in our lives, it was also the beginning of a journey to freedom.

Jump with me to this summer.  Recently, God sovereignly acted in my life so that I “stumbled upon” Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible Study.  In this study, Beth asks the reader to identify any strongholds that need tearing down.  Needless to say, God showed me how dieting and body image had been in my life as a stronghold for over 20 years, and that it finally needed to be laid to rest. 

This is my journal entry from the day that I believe God finally set me free from the insecurities that led to a lifetime of mistreating my body through excessive exercise and eating disorders . . . 

“Father, I am not sure when I began overeating but I do remember the nickname that I was given as a child:  “FATS”.  I hated being called this.  It was and still is a derogatory remark that did nothing to encourage me or to allow me to see myself as beautiful.  It hurt me terribly.  Father, right now I want to offer up forgiveness to those who gave this name to me and I want to ask Your forgiveness for believing this lie.  This image of being fat has infiltrated my mind and been the root cause of so many struggles with my weight over the years.”

It is hard to admit that we have ANY form of eating disorder, for they come in various forms and disguises.  But my heart’s cry is that if you are reading this article and your heart is stirred because of it, that you will seriously ask God to show You if there is anything within your eating or exercise that could be seen as obsessive or destructive.  If He shows you anything that needs dealing with, don’t wait 20 years as I did.  Deal with it today and then believe His Word when he says,

“For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well.”  (Psalm 139:13-14)

And then remember, EXTERNAL beauty will fade with age but INTERNAL beauty remains forever!

Sometimes we plan things and things go nothing like we planned! This summer has been case and point for that type of planning! 

I decided in April that I was going to move home for the summer and live with my parents so that I could serve at my home church and live life with the students there while they are out of school. I had been home for the summer a couple years back and mostly served my family and worked in our home, due to health issues with my mother. But this summer, I was going to take care of that ahead of time! I planned it all out, sat down with my parents, and asked them if I could live at home for the summer and their home be my base to serve out of. I made clear that I would not be at home as much as previous summers, and I would be able to help some, but that would not be my primary task for the summer. Can you see where this is going?! Looking back this is quite humorous! It must have been to my Heavenly Father who sees the whole timeline of our lives.

Within a few days of being home for the summer, I began to see that I was going to be serving my family more than I had originally anticipated. I was pretty okay with this at first.  That next week, I would have a whole week to myself to jump start my summer of ministry while my parents were away at the beach. Then one afternoon, my grandmother called and was headed to the hospital because she was really sick. Everything changed at that point, including my attitude! My plans had been thrown out the window! And without asking me!!  My first step of progress was to tell a friend, “I realize this is what God had planned for this week of my summer, but I DON’T LIKE IT!” 

Such honesty in the face of God’s Word quickly humbled me. I was aware of God’s loving discipline to his children for sinful attitudes of self-centeredness and complaining. God began to patiently teach me of his plans for me.  

Has my desire been to truly serve God or to tell God how I want to serve him?  To truly serve God is not writing out a description and restrictions on how I will serve him. 

My summer has not been what I’ve expected, but what great truth God has taught me about what serving God truly is! I have still been able to invest in the students’ lives like I had hoped, but that has been through real life-on-life discipleship. Those girls have seen my struggles and my failures! They have come over to a messy house with interruptions during our times together to care for the needs of my family. They have served with me. We have run errands and gone grocery shopping together. But honestly what better way to make disciples than truly living life together and seeing Christ has the center of it all! 

We are all in different phases of life! I am single but have a family with lots of needs due to prolonged sickness and changing circumstances. Many women have full-time jobs, are wives or moms, and have full, busy schedules that we try to control and plan. How much greater is our God than we are to plan our days! We expected to serve God in one way, but God had other plans. We can rejoice together in that God has a plan and a great purpose for everyday of our lives! Oh and what a joy that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than our ways! 

Katie Kasey is a 2+2 (International Church Planting M-Div) student at Southeastern. God has given Katie the privilege of serving Him at North Henderson Baptist Church in Henderson, NC. She is excitedly preparing to serve God overseas with the IMB. Katie’s family is one of her greatest joys in life. She loves being a new aunt! She also loves using photography to encourage others and promote God’s glory among all people.

 

It is officially SPRING and I’m so excited! It’s time for trips to the beach, picnics in the park and being able to wear skirts without getting goose bumps on my legs. It’s DEFINITELY time to go driving with the windows down and the music up. I have a few “go-to” songs that I enjoy during this time. One of them is by the band Vega4. It’s called, “Life is beautiful.” Here are some of the lyrics:

Life is beautiful. But it’s complicated, we barely make it. We don’t need to understand, there are miracles, miracles. Yeah, life is beautiful. Our hearts, they beat and break.

I wouldn’t exactly “wrap my biblical doctrine or theology” around these verses, but I think there are some interesting truths here. They are right; life is both beautiful and complicated. Sometimes it is beautiful, sometimes it is messy and SOMETIMES it’s beautifully messy. And just like the author of Ecclesiastes points out, there is a season for everything. (Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-18, it’s amazing!) 

Life is full of diverse moments. There are moments of birth and moments of death. Some moments are for weeping and some are for laughing. Some are for mourning and some are for dancing. Life is also not just about the “big moments” (wedding, babies, new jobs, moves, graduation, etc). It is full of little moments of responsibility and routine that impact our day-to-day life. How can we honor God in these moments? I’ve been thinking lately about how difficult those little moments can be in the wake of the bigger ones. In the midst of stress or strife, sometimes as we plan something really good (exciting new adventures, marriage, children, etc.), those little daily routines can feel extremely daunting.  These are tasks that otherwise seem easy and routine. Things like  paying bills, putting gas in your car, taking kids/loved ones to appointments, making dinner, etc.  

I’m not sure what your moments are currently full of. Perhaps a stressful boss, wedding planning, pregnancy, a big upcoming move, job applications, soccer practices … you fill in the blank! One passage that has been extremely helpful has been Matthew 6:33-34 (emphasis on 34 has been added by me). 

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

I love that last part in verse 34, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” It’s so simple and sensible. It’s such a sweet reminder that God has only given me enough grace to get through today. When tomorrow comes, He’ll be there waiting for me with what I need. That certainly gives me the strength to wake up and go about my day, no matter what is lying ahead or hanging above me.

Personally, this reminder has been especially helpful as graduation approaches in May. I’m excited about the possibility of going to East Asia, but there have been moments where I have been so full of anxiety that I have not been able to enjoy what God has done. I allowed my mind to be full of doubts and “what-if” worries. However, these are all things that I cannot control. I must embrace what I know to be true about God and what I have seen Him do. I cannot control tomorrow. To be honest, I can’t control today. But what I can control are my reactions and my responses. I can also trust that, while life can sometimes be overwhelming and difficult, with Him life is abundant and full of hope.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Elizabeth Elliot is an amazing author. She once quoted a poem that has stuck with me for a long time. The title is “Do the next thing.”

“Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing. 

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing. 

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing." 

Naturally, I would like to wish you moments of laughing, dancing and healing. But, as the author of Ecclesiastes pointed out, there are all kinds of moments in this life. However, I can always wish you moments full of hope from Christ. Praise the Lord that those moments will never end and that hope will never run dry.

Know that the LORD, He Is God!  It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.  Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with Praise!  Give thanks to Him; bless His name!  For the LORD is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.  Ps. 100:3-5

 

 April Smith is from Charleston, South Carolina and will be graduating in May with her MA in Intercultural Studies. She enjoys spending time with her family and friends, Clemson football, gardening, crafts and anything that has to do with the beach! Her undergraduate degree is in Special Education and she hopes to one day combine her love for the world with her love for special needs. She is currently making plans to move to East Asia with her roommate for a year and is so excited about what her Father is up to. You can check out her blog at aprilmariesmith.blogspot.com!

Reblogged from "girltalk" a blog by Carolyn Mahaney
by Nicole Whitacre

Each year we make New Year's resolutions for things we want to change, but we also have New Year's hopes for things we can't change, but wish we could. We long to receive certain desires of our heart that seem elusively out of reach. And maybe, just maybe, we will see those hopes fulfilled this year.
When I was single, I hoped for a husband. Maybe this year, he will come. I imagined myself married by the following New Year, or at least engaged. Maybe the New Year was holding my future husband in the wings.

God eventually gave me an amazing husband, but new hopes still sprang up with each New Year's Day. When we lived in a teeny apartment, I wanted to move to a bigger place. When I experienced secondary infertility, I wanted to have another child. Maybe this year.

I'm sure you have hopes for this year. They are probably whatever you are thinking about right now. But in her book, Keep A Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot encourages us to focus on the most important of New Year's hopes:

“Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the ‘deep sweet well of Love’” (page 49, emphasis mine).

This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:7-8a).

K.J. Nally's blog, Answers of Truth
Oct. 6, 2011

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

Every month was a physical reminder of what happened. Every month my emotions warred against my heart of what I knew to be Truth. Why wasn’t this easier? And why did each month seem to force me on an emotional roller coaster? I felt God’s presence in midst of the storm…why did He seem so far off now? Yet, I know He is beside me, guiding me, holding me up by my right arm. His Word promises He will never leave. He always seeks His glory and the good of those who love Him. Yes, I know that is Truth…help me Lord to believe it.

 These words from Psalm 73 are salve to the broken soul. Honestly, it’s been a tough year. My flesh failed me and then my heart was broken in a million pieces. 

On Sunday, October 2^nd it would have been our little baby's due date. Lil’ Bean we called him. I was 9 weeks pregnant when I had a miscarriage—my flesh failed. 

The Story of Lil’ Bean

Nine weeks went by and I was feeling so good. We joked that maybe there wasn’t a baby in my “belly” because I didn’t feel pregnant. Sure, I was tired and ate everything in sight, but I felt great. Excitedly, we arrived at the doctor…it would be Lil’ Bean’s First Picture (ultrasound). As we sat in the room waiting for the doctor, we gave each other a high five and then pumped the air three times toward Heaven, giving God three high fives because this was His perfect work, not ours. We had determined from the first day God blessed us with our baby to have “open hands.” This was God’s little one, entrusted to us to raise Him to be a worshiper of God. The doctor came in and talked for awhile about what to expect and hospital protocol—then it was time for “Baby’s First Picture.”

Silence. This isn’t what an ultrasound was supposed to look like, I thought. Where was my baby? The picture was white with only a small black circle. No heart beat. The doctor didn’t need to say anything, we knew. And our hearts broke. The doctor left the room after a short explanation of what would happen over the next few days. She told me not to blame myself. But, in that moment as my world spun out of control I couldn’t stop the thoughts. I wept in my husband’s strong arms. Slowly I met his gaze and said, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He knew what I meant and grabbed my tear stained face. “Don’t you dare go there,” he sternly warned. “Don’t you dare take credit for what God is doing.” I knew the truth…God was in control, He was faithful, and He was good. But, could I believe that in this moment?

Yes. I could.

When we lost our baby, we cried to the point of exhaustion. It was so sweet falling in love with our first child. It gave us a small glimpse of how God loves us and how His heart must break when people die before knowing their Father; miscarried for eternity. The day after we lost our baby, I prayed to God for strength to praise Him even when I hurt so deeply. I have never felt the nearness of my Lord like I did in the midst of this pain. And even when I felt emotionally drained and spiritually broken the months that followed, He gave me the strength to praise Him even through the pain. You can read the prayer I wrote to God after the miscarriage here.

We still have moments of sadness of what could have been, but we must remind ourselves of truth; preach to ourselves. The truth is that God is good. He is in absolute control for His glory and our best.

What do we do with pain and trials…When God seems far, how do we continue holding onto our faith? 

We must TRUST.

“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal” (Isaiah 24:6).

Trust that God is true and His Word is Truth (Ps. 53:1; Col. 1:15-23; 1 Tim. 3:16-17; Heb. 4:12).

Trust that God loves his children more than we can fathom (1 Jn 3:1; 1 Jn. 4:19; Rom. 8:38-39).

Trust that God wants the best for us, just as any parent does on earth…though He is much wiser (Rom. 8:28-30; 2 Pt. 1:2-10; Jer. 17:8).

Trust that God’s way brings Him the most glory (Ps. 19:1; Ps. 108:4-6; Lk. 2:14).

Trust that God never leaves us alone in pain, but holds our hand and walks with us (Ps. 90:10; Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5).
Trust that God will one day take all pain away when we are with Him in eternity (Jn. 16:33; Jn. 10:10; Rev. 21:4).

Trust that God is good…ALL the time! (Ps. 84; Ps. 73:1; Mk. 10:18).

My pain-filled emotions were good, just not trustworthy. I had to constantly go back to Truth - that these trials are making me more like Jesus for the glory of God!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Know God intimately…before a trial hits. Do not blame God or turn from Him in anger, but cling to the one who died for you so that He could comfort you forever in eternity. David said in Psalm 90:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Seek Him friends…Trust Him…see that He is good, even (and especially) in times of pain.

These words from J. C. Ryle have brought me much encouragement:

“Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: ‘He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things’ (Romans 8:32).

See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’"

John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Amen!

K.J. Nally is a writer, teacher, and counselor. She is pursuing her master’s degree in Biblical Counseling, concentrating in women's ministry from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. K.J. and her husband, Dustin, have a passion to fight for Godly marriages, spur on teens to seek purity, and encourage men and women to live obediently to their Creator God.

K.J. and Dustin are marriage and individual counselors at Hope Counseling Center through their church, North Wake. They also work with Converting Hearts Ministries,’ a Christ-centered addictions ministry.

K.J. is also a freelance journalist. Check out more about Christian Living at K.J.’s blog, Answers of Truth.

Trust.

I'm a mom now. They say once you become a mom you worry all the time. Well, they
weren't kidding. It's strange because I've never been one to worry. I'm usually the type
of person who goes with the flow and thinks that everything will work itself out.

Throughout my academic career I never worried that I would fail a class, I trusted that I
would get through college and grad school with no problem. I never worried about my
love life because I trusted that God would find the right husband for me. Even with
finances, no matter how broke we were, I always trusted we would have enough money
to pay the bills.

But now I look at my tiny baby boy and I worry. I stay up at night watching him sleep and
worrying that he's not breathing correctly. I worry about his health and development. I
worry if I'm being a good mother. Am I being the very best I can be? I worry about his
future. Will he love Jesus? Will he make good choices?

I have to stop myself and remember who is in control. I have to trust that God will have
grace on me and my shortcomings as a mother. I have to trust that God will protect my
son. I have to trust that no matter what happens, God is always in control and it is all a
part of His plan.

I'm learning to trust God in a whole new way...now that I'm a mom.

Kristel Acevedo lives in Denver, CO with her husband, Alex, and their son, Liam. They are members of The Summit Church - Denver. She is a graduate of Southeastern Seminary with a MA in Biblical Counseling and is now a stay-at-home mom.