I turned 43 this summer!
In many ways
I still feel 23 BUT the spattering of grey hairs and the fine wrinkles that are
slowly appearing remind me that I AM getting older J
So why would I reveal my age in a public environment when it is
something, as women, that we generally don’t speak of past the age of
30-something? Revealing my age ties in
with the purpose of this article – to show how we can be enslaved to different
behaviors for large periods of our lives without realizing how long it has been
or even at what initial age we began exhibiting the behavior.
Ok, slow
down, you might be thinking. What in the
world are you talking about? I am talking
about a subject that, I do believe, is a major issue in the lives of many women
– eating disorders.
In the summer
of 2010 – 3 years ago to date – God began an incredible work in my life which
he completed this summer on Wednesday 31st of July. The journey began while I was teaching a
Bible Study entitled Embracing the Uncluttered Life at the local church
we were attending. The third week was an
in-depth look at the physical clutter in our lives, with specific emphasis on
diet and exercise. I commented to my
husband during the week of preparation that I was expecting it to be the
easiest of the sessions. I had been involved in competitive sport from the
young age of 5 and always had an interest in diet and how it affects the human
body in terms of health and strength.
Well, was I in for an awakening – it was the toughest session to prepare
AND to teach because God revealed to me a very deep obsession with my physical
appearance (specifically in the area of my weight) and an even deeper obsession
with competition (in the area of sport) because of a deep-rooted insecurity to
prove my worth as a person. As I spent
time searching His Word for material to teach the ladies, he brought to the
surface an unwillingness on my part to admit that I had been enslaved to
various forms of weight control – bingeing,
purging, fat burners, and heavy strength training. All of these things had given me a strong,
slim body BUT had left me with an emptiness and heaviness within my spirit that
He began to peel away. It was an
exhausting time, but, as He is faithful in finishing what He begins in our
lives, it was also the beginning of a journey to
freedom.
Jump with me
to this summer. Recently, God sovereignly
acted in my life so that I “stumbled upon” Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible Study. In this study, Beth asks the reader to
identify any strongholds that need tearing down. Needless to say, God showed me how dieting
and body image had been in my life as a stronghold for over 20 years, and that
it finally needed to be laid to rest.
This is my journal entry from the day that I believe God finally set me free from the insecurities that led to a lifetime of mistreating my body through excessive exercise and eating disorders . . .
“Father, I am not sure when I began
overeating but I do remember the nickname that I was given as a child: “FATS”.
I hated being called this. It was
and still is a derogatory remark that did nothing to encourage me or to allow
me to see myself as beautiful. It hurt
me terribly. Father, right now I want to
offer up forgiveness to those who gave this name to me and I want to ask Your
forgiveness for believing this lie. This
image of being fat has infiltrated my mind and been the root cause of so many
struggles with my weight over the years.”
It is hard to admit that we have ANY form of eating disorder, for they
come in various forms and disguises. But
my heart’s cry is that if you are reading this article and your heart is
stirred because of it, that you will seriously ask God to show You if there is
anything within your eating or exercise that could be seen as obsessive or
destructive. If He shows you anything
that needs dealing with, don’t wait 20 years as I did. Deal with it today and then believe His Word when he says,
“For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s
womb. I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14)
And
then remember, EXTERNAL beauty will fade with age but INTERNAL beauty remains
forever!
Katharine works as a missionary alongside her husband, Monty in the
low-income housing communities of Wake Forest and surrounding areas. She is passionate about sport, children,
missions, her husband, and her relationship with Jesus Christ. She loves to read and study but daily
responsibilities don’t afford much extra time for this. You can read more about the mission that they
are involved in at www.fortywestministries.com
0 comments: