10 Ways to be a Missional Momma

If we call ourselves Christians, we are supposed to always be on “mission” right?  We have news that is just too good to share.  We are called to “go and make disciples.”  We are called to love one another.  

But that’s not all pretty diamond cross necklaces, is it?  Being missional is hard work.  It’s an everyday decision that we must make.  I have really learned this over the past year or two, but since actually moving overseas it has hit me extremely hard.  How do I do all that I need to do for the day….wash dishes, clean the toilets, keep Grace content, serve my husband, cook meals, wash clothes, etc., AND be missional? Here are 10 ways that I have learned to be missional.  There are 9,872 more, and probably better, ways to be missional, but these are some that the Lord has taught me over the past year.  

#1 Be a Regular

Be a regular customer at a cafe, shop, or restaurant.  This has opened huge doors for me since moving to London.  The biggest example I can use is my weekly visit to the Somali Cafe.  Not even a week after arriving in London, I visited the cafe for the first time and knew that these women would be not only my friends, but hopefully one day women that would be open to the Gospel.  So every Wednesday, around lunchtime, Grace and I take a bus and two trains to get to this little, hidden room, up three flights of stairs, with two tables and a few chairs.  This weekly ritual has become a highlight in my week, and I hope in the Somali women’s lives as well.  We are “regulars.” 

They expect Grace and me every Wednesday.  The cook knows my order and brings it to me without me even asking.  Now, though this has been SO great, it’s not always good.  I have had to earn their trust and their friendship.  Obviously I don’t speak Somali, so many times I sit there just trying to follow foreign conversations.  I am the outsider by all means, but they know me, and they know that every Wednesday at lunchtime, Laura, the American woman, and her little girl will come and drink tea and talk.  

#2 Don’t always gravitate to your comfortable or like-minded friends.

Whether it’s at a playgroup or the library, or wherever, make new friends,  especially with those who seem new, alone, different, out-of-place, etc.  From being one of the those new/alone/different people when we moved here, those women who approached me brought so much joy and hope into my life, even if they didn’t realize it.  I take Grace to the library every Tuesday (again a regular); each time there are many of the same faces, but there are always new faces as well.  I have to make a serious effort to introduce myself to the newbies.  I think people get very confused on why we live where we live because there are not any other Americans in Wembley….or at least I haven’t seen/met them yet.  To be honest, being a little bit different has opened doors for great conversations here.  I’ve had moms comment on Grace’s bows A LOT!  It’s crazy- girl’s just don’t wear bows here, so without me knowing it, we were screaming “Americans” - I have learned that’s okay.

Through meeting these other women, I have been able to hear their stories and share my story.  And in my story, they get to hear about Jesus, and that’s what is it all about, right?

#4 Prayer walk with your kids.  

I confess, this is a new one for me, but it’s something I really want to do more with Grace.  If they are too little to understand, pop them in the stroller and take a walk and pray.  If they are of age, let them help you see what’s around you and pray.  I mean, how awesome would it be for children to learn how to prayer walk!  I hope to do more of this on a weekly basis where that is my main purpose for getting out; however, the great thing about prayer walking is you can do this at anytime, anywhere, and with anyone.  It can be silent or out loud.  That’s the beauty of it.  

#5 Make every purchase count.  

Let me explain.  Go to different (a.k.a strategic) stores in your community where you can buy your groceries and other items.  I do a regular grocery order delivery every week, but we try to let Lee go to the Middle Eastern market to get fruit and veggies.  I know time is not in our favor, but I am really beginning to see how this can make such a big impact.  I know that Wal-Mart/Target is so enticing because it’s your one-stop-shop; Believe me, I’m with ya on this. We have Asda here in London, which is literally the British version of Wal-Mart.  You might have to go to multiple places to get everything you need, but think about all the relationships you can make at different shops (again, the “regular” thing comes in).  

#6 Ask for help - be humble.  

Do little things like asking for help with directions or advice.  Note: you will get unwanted advice, but swallow that pride and really listen to them-  you will learn something about that person that you didn’t know before.  Now, it might be their crazy parenting advice, but you will get insight to their background and their way of thinking… and it might blow your mind.  The (unwanted) advice that we have received from people here has been CRAZY.  I mean, things that just make you want to say, “What in the world are you thinking?” But that’s where the humbleness part comes to play :).

#7 Keep your home open (and food stocked).  

This is something I have greatly learned to LOVE since moving overseas.  The culture of Middle Eastern peoples is come, drop by, and stay a while, and there are times that I love this, and yet there are times where this style of living is really hard (because I am selfish with my time).  Let me say that we don’t own a big, beautiful home that is perfect for entertaining.  We have a small apartment with a couch (about the size of a loveseat), and four kitchen table chairs.  Entertaining and having people over is not convenient, but it’s something that we have chosen to make an effort to do with those around us, especially with our neighbors. We have invited them into our home so that they can see who we are behind our thin walls.  Oh, and the food stocked part - in our neck of the woods that means always have tea ready to be made and “biscuits” (cookies), nuts, and chocolate ready to be put in bowls and served.  I so wish that we would have had a more “open home” before we moved overseas.  Maybe like you, our home was really our refuge and a place where we could relax and be alone.  Sure we had people at our home and did things, but not with the heart that I have now.  I really, really hope that when we move back to the states one day that we will carry with us this open home (food stocked) way of living.  This having your home open thing also lets others see what and how your family interacts and how you love one another.

#8 Bake and Share.  

You can figure this one out without me typing a book :).

#9 Let others know you are praying for them and their families.  

I try to constantly let my friends know that I am praying for them.  If they tell me something that seems to be worrying them, I try to take that opportunity to carry their burdens and pray for them.  Oh, and a side note on this one- when you have people over in your home, pray FOR THEM BY NAME.  Game changer right there.

#10 (finally right?) Stay steady in your time of reading the Bible.  

This really should be #1.  If we want to be on mission for God, we have to know God, and the more we know God, the more we love Him.  It’s a growing pattern, I think.  The more I know, the more I grow, the more I love God and others.  

LA and her family live in London, England. Actually, Wembley - think Wembley Stadium (Olympics).  The stadium is across the street from their apartment!  LA loves to bake sweets, run (really just so that she can eat more sweets), be with new friends, explore the city of London, and drink as many cappuccinos as possible.  To see what else LA and her family are up to, check out her blog at theharpersbazaar.blogspot.com.

Over the Pond… Where Mission Work Took Place in My Heart!

My heart was broken by the words Matthew spoke at the 9marks Conference: “It is more likely for a Scottish person to know a Muslim than a Christian.” How could this be? If Scottish people don’t know any Christians, how will they ever hear the good news of the gospel or even want to hear it when it is presented?  These are the exact thoughts of the 20Schemes founders. 20Schemes is a one-year-old Christian Church Planting Organization that is trying to plant 10 churches in 20 years in the schemes of Scotland. Schemes are a European name for government housing, though these communities are like mini cities within a city, with 10,000 plus people living in each scheme. Because of the governmental system, most people do not work and therefore spend all day doing…well… really whatever they want. Children go to school but only have to attend until they are 16. Then, because they are able to live on the system, most never aspire to attend college or university.

With demographics as the ones listed above, it is no wonder most people living in the schemes are single moms with drug and addiction problems with abuse running rampant, whether child abuse or relational abuse. 20 Schemes has recognized that if they can plant churches in the middle of these schemes, where they provide a coffee shop or other form of public service in the church, they can reach the people relationally.

This idea presented by Matthew at the conference caught my attention, and I was hooked: I wanted to see what God was up to in the schemes of Scotland, so I signed up to join the Scotland mission team that traveled over Spring break of 2014.

When I arrived in Scotland, I was pleasantly surprised by the “warm” weather and the lack of rain. I was also surprised by the agenda of the trip. Though we had arrived thinking we were doing mission work, the trip ended up being much more of a vision trip to hear about the purpose and mission of 20Schemes. When I first realized this, I must admit I was discouraged, as I had hoped to get to know native Scottish people and share the gospel with them. God used this trip, though, in a completely different way than I expected. God changed my view of a mission trip and redirected my thinking to remaining missional minded. He pressed me to learn how to be a better missionary in the context I am presently living by observing other believers in their everyday lives.

The team worked with a church in the Nidre Scheme, in Edinburgh, Scotland. We got to meet the church leaders and also many of the native interns that are doing ministry through the church. As I talked with the members of the church, I realized that their entire method of integrating people into the church is through discipleship. In all actuality, they really don’t invite people to church until they have shared the gospel with them and formed a deep-rooted relationship with them. This is such a different way to go about evangelizing, as compared to our “American way”. Discipleship is the key thing in the church. When a person becomes a Christian, they are immediately paired with an “older” person in the church to be discipled weekly. They are to be taught the gospel truths and held accountable in every area of their lives. Because of this, people immediately feel a sense of community and are instantly held accountable for their decision to become a Christian. This was absolutely beautiful to me.

My heart is to disciple women. Having the Women’s Ministry pastor in Scotland ask me what I was doing weekly to disciple girls was humbling. When she asked if I discipled anyone, I answered “yes.” When she pushed me as to what that looked like, she quickly clarified that she didn’t want a “tea and biscuits” answer. As Christians, we can get tea and biscuits (or Starbucks) with anyone anytime. Discipleship should be a spiritually older woman coming alongside a spiritually younger woman teaching her the Bible and asking her the hard questions. Yes, this can be done over tea, but the content of the conversation shouldn’t be trivial things; it must be godly things. If this isn’t happening, it isn’t truly biblical discipleship.

As the week progressed, we visited many sights included Sterling Castle in Glasgow, Edinburgh Castle in Edinburgh, as well as various places throughout Edinburgh. We even ventured out and tried Haggis (yes, sheep intestines- That will be the one and only time I do that). We stayed at a seminary in Edinburgh where we met students studying from various parts of Europe. Where we have 4,000 enrolled in our seminary, they have about 20 enrolled. This is the stark contrast between Europe and America- one more example of the lostness of Scotland. The team of 12 grew close quickly, and there was never a dull moment with Dr. Eccher leading our team. It was amazing seeing each person on the team come alongside their team members to love and encourage each other, even though most of us had only met one time before.

There are so many things I could tell you about the trip, but I would like to leave you with these thoughts. Though the trip was not a mission trip in the sense I was expecting, we were able to encourage our brothers and sisters in a way they rarely ever receive. We visited two pastors in Glasgow, Pete and Pete (we jokingly called them “Pete and re-Pete”).  While there we were able to go into the high school and meet students as well as meet with teachers in a primary school and talk to them about the gospel. I absolutely loved this more “mission geared” day, but I realized that the people who received the most missional love and support were Pete and Pete. Our brothers and sisters in Scotland are lonely and tired and worn down. They find their strength in the Lord, but there is power in the body of Christ- the joy they expressed because we visited them was humbling; it proved the urgency we need to have, as the body, in not only reaching the lost but supporting out fellow brothers and sisters.

As I come back from my trip to Scotland, I am not only encouraged to rethink my goals as I disciple younger women, but I am challenged to push hard to loving my brothers and sisters where I am at as well as from afar. As I think of the many missionaries overseas (or stateside), I am struck with how little I do to love them from America. A simple card through snail mail or email would not take much time at all, and it would mean the world to my Christian family that doesn't have much family and support close by.

I challenge you, as women of Southeastern: Don’t wait another day to love your spiritual family. Don’t take for granted the incredible gift we have here at Southeastern where we are “surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.” And don’t stop teaching the truth, searching and spurring on new believers to think about the tough questions. Challenge those you are discipling and be intentional in the way you teach, reproof, correct, and train (2 Timothy 3:16) those whom God has placed in your life. Finally, look at every experience as a missional experience. Whether you are personally serving or observing others as they serve, let God teach you more about His character and how He wants you to actively participate in the mission He has called his children to live out.

Catie Thomas is a student at Southeastern working towards her Masters of Divinity in International Church Planting. She is also currently the Administrative Assistant in the Women's Life office. She has a heart for women and is humbled that God allows her to share His truth with them, whether that means mourning with them as they mourn or rejoicing with them as they rejoice. She looks forward to the future as she continues on this journey with the Lord but joyfully rests in the place where God has her here at Southeastern.

For 2 years, 3 months and 9 days I have been an alien.

A legal alien, but an alien none the less.  At least, that's the local word that's used to refer to foreigners here, and, let me tell you, given some of the looks I get, I often feel like I really am from Mars.  Granted, most of those looks are totally deserved.  I'm a blonde haired, blue eyed girl in a sea of Asians.  I DEFINITELY speak with an American accent.  I wear sandals in April.  And I have been known to take my baby out in 75 degree weather without a snow-suit.  Gasp!

I knew before we came here that I was going to have to learn really fast how to laugh at things and let them roll off my shoulders.  And most of the things I look back and laugh about now have to do with my inability to speak.  I sound like a 2 year old, for sure.

Picture from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/457578

But, how could you not make mistakes when words sound so similar.  Like the word for bread and man: just one small difference. Ekmek…. Erkek…. they just sound so similar!  What new language learner wouldn't walk into a bakery and ask for a fresh man, please?  

Or when someone is talking so fast you can't understand them, why not just default to the easy words, like "yes" or "ok."  That's what I do.  And I end up leaving the electronics store with two distinct curly cues in my stick straight hair because I unknowingly agreed to be the guinea pig for the new curling iron they're trying to sell.  Or, with the same "yes" and "ok" responses, end up getting my makeup done at the pharmacy right after working out when all I needed was medicine for the baby.  

Then there's the pazar.  There are people everywhere and all I want to do is navigate my big, foreigner stroller through the sea of people and get home with my fruits and veggies while the boy is still happy.  So, when some sweet lady tells me my son is eating his shoe, I just smile and say, "Thank you" and realize 5 minutes later what she was telling me.

Picture from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/646119

Yep, this is my life.  Maybe one day I'll be able to communicate effectively here.  But until then, at least I get to laugh a lot!

This week is Global Missions Week here at SEBTS, and we wanted to focus on global missions on the blog as well!  Today you have the privilege to hear from Lesley Hildreth.  Lesley has much experience overseas, and uses her experience and wisdom to teach and encourage the ladies here at SEBTS.  Read her post below to learn a little more about what wives go through while serving overseas, and take a moment to pray for our families serving overseas.

After leaving the mission field over six years ago one of my greatest desires has been to equip other women who are preparing to go. As a guest lecturer for Southeastern's Biblical Women's Institute's degree program I have taught a course called Preparing For Missions for the past five years. It has been both an honor and privilege to encourage, equip, and pray for these women. Once the students are overseas they are required to meet in a central location in order to take two classes to fulfill their International Church Planting Degree. While the students are in class Southeastern provides a program for their wives and childcare is provided by volunteers from local churches in the states. I have been fortunate to be able to travel and spend time with these women and always walk away with new insights and ways to pray more specifically for their needs. After my most recent trip to Taiwan this past January I thought that it would be helpful to others to know how to pray more effectively and specifically for these wives serving overseas. If one has not personally spent time overseas it can be difficult to not only understand the needs of those serving the nations but to know what to pray.

Here are some common issues these wives are facing daily and a little bit of insight into what that could mean for some of them. I hope you will find this both informative and helpful as you encourage and bless these women and others serving the nations.

LANGUAGE LEARNING/BALANCING ROLES:

The first year or two on the field is spent learning another language. Most of our wives are not only full time language students learning very difficult languages but are also mothers seeking to balance their many roles without feeling like they are failing at one or more in order to succeed at another. Without language a person can not function in society or engage with people. This will eventually lead to discontentment and more importantly the missionary is unable to accomplish the very thing they went for: to share the gospel message to those who have not heard.

*Some verses to consider praying for them: Phil. 4:11, Eph. 5:21-6:4, and Psalm 23)

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Phil. 4:11

HEALTH ISSUES:

Health issues are sometimes brought on by stress, caused by the new environment (food or new germs), or illnesses that are not related to anything new but are simply a normal part of life. In each case these issues create anxiety and fear as missionaries seek to just feel well/normal again. For moms with young children who experience a lot of sickness in the first year or two or develop a new health issue while on the field can bring a tremendous amount of stress on a family. In some areas that the wives are serving going to a doctor who speaks and/or understands English is not an option. In some areas the medical care available is not adequate and families may need to travel long distances for care or even consider relocating for prolonged care. This can be a very scary time for some and many battle with fear and the unknown.

(Some verses to consider praying for them: Phil. 4:6, Matthew 6:25-34, Heb. 4:16, Psalm 34:19)

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

SPIRITUAL WARFARE:

Most Americans do not recognize and/or do not experience spiritual warfare. Many families find themselves dealing with spiritual warfare issues and have no idea how to deal with or handle them when they occur. Many of our families have shared that their children have experienced reoccurring nightmares since moving overseas.

(Some verses to consider when praying for them: Eph 6;10-20, Rom. 8:28, 2 Thes. 3:1-2)

Finally, brothers,pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honored, as happened among you, 2 and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men. For not all have faith. 2 Thes. 3:1-2

These are just a few areas that you can pray for these women. Even though these women are dealing with issues you may not be able to relate to or fully understand we can ALL relate to the need to have a sister in Christ take our needs before the Lord in prayer.

Lesley Hildreth has been married to Scott for the past 20 years and has two children: Rachel, 18 and Jacob, 16. Their family served overseas in Berlin, Germany and Istanbul, Turkey with the IMB for eight years. Currently Scott is the Director of the Center for Great Commission Studies at Southeastern and Lesley is a guest lecturer for the Biblical Women's Institute as well as the Community Service Coordinator for Broughton High School. Lesley currently serves as The President for Southeastern's Women's Club and Faculty Advisor for the Connecting Point Team as well as serving as a mentor for female students or student wives on campus.