Love = Commitment

Don’t get me wrong.  Decades in, I’m CRAZY about my husband.  He makes me laugh, he pumps my gas every Friday, he’s handsome across the breakfast table, he’s quite the romantic…I’m SO glad I got to marry this man! 

But there’s so much more to our love than emotion.    

Love = commitment. 

Let’s be honest, there are days when neither one of us wakes up very loveable.  On those mornings (usually related to me needing coffee) we joke ‘when I feel like loving someone, you’re going to be at the top of the list’. 

When I think about it, here’s what has kept our romance going strong for 30+ years:  obedience to God’s Word.  Whether we feel like it that day or not.  Amazing how often the Spirit gets our feelings in line when our actions are…. Like I said, I really am crazy in love with my husband.        

Since I’m writing for women, I’ll focus on my half of this love equation.  Honestly, this wife thing didn’t come naturally to me.  Meditating on scripture changed my life.  It really is as simple – and as profound – as that.

I found that if I can worry…if I can dwell on hurt…if I can fume in anger…I already have the skill set I need to meditate on scripture.  Hmmm.  Here are just a few love-my-husband favorites:    

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31.12 (gold standard – everything – everything! – is measured against this one)

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17.22 (c.h.o.o.s.e.  joy)

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Proverbs 31.27 (um, convicting.  an orderly (enough) home – and healthy meals instead of fast food)   

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.  Proverbs 31.25 (note to self:  get off that emotional roller coaster)  

It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9 (yikes…this verse is repeated for a reason)

She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Proverbs 31.22 (this sooo doesn’t sound like sloppy sweats)

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  Proverbs 31.17 (motivation to lift weights and run on the elliptical…so I have energy to get all the rest done…really)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.  Proverbs 31.30 (balance = don’t obsess on appearance)

An overseer must be…hospitable.... I Timothy 3.2 (and exactly how will he do this if I don’t cooperate?)

Far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you.... I Samuel 12.23 (self-explanatory…and convicting)

The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.  Ephesians 5.33 (crucial. crucial. crucial.)

The Song of Solomon...pretty much all of it. 

And, just for fun - here’s a photo to demonstrate love works when you do marriage God’s way. 

I stumbled downstairs to the coffee pot on Valentine’s a couple of years ago, and this banner was hanging in the trees outside my kitchen window…I told you he is quite the romantic.

 

Stephanie Mills loves being married to Richard. And mornings that start with a mug of coffee & an open Bible.  And, now that the kids are grown, exploring the world…often in hiking boots with a tent. Richard planted Faith Baptist in Youngsville, and it was amazing to raise PKs in a place where the whole family got to join God at work and see lives changed. She thinks it just doesn’t get any better than that!