Love is an action that must also be applied to our friendships. We decide who we want to be friends with and hang around with. Therefore, loving our friends ought to be pretty easy. But are our actions towards them displaying love? Do we have the right feelings for them, but fall short of acting on those feelings?
There are two categories of loving our friends. One is by our intentional actions towards them. The other is by our calculated response to them. Let’s look first at how we can intentionally act in love towards our friends.
To begin with, mark special days on the calendar, such as birthdays and anniversaries, and send cheerful greetings on these occasions over the phone or with a visit. Pay attention to particular needs, like times of sickness or sadness, and find ways to help. Pray and follow up with a card or a call.
Being hospitable and inviting a friend and her family into your home is another way to show love to her. It is also important to be real with our friends and not try to act contrary to who we really are just to impress them or maintain the “friendship”. Be silly, be sad, be fun, be serious. Don’t try to hide your emotions or be someone contrary to your nature.
My friend Beth has seen the best and worst of my moods. Compassionate and understanding, she has patiently listened to me complain about petty frustrations as well as legitimate struggles. In the past, when I have fallen short of being the friend I should due to a scattered mind or an overwhelming work load, she has remained a loyal.
Neighbors have stopped by unexpectedly when I am looking unkempt, but perhaps no one outside of my family has witnessed me at my extremes like Beth, who has seen me not only in my Sunday finest, but also in well-worn sweats with no make-up on. Because I occasionally get my hair highlighted in her home by her mother-in-law, she has also seen me looking very “alien-like” with foils sticking out all over my head. Since she is a trustworthy and dear friend, I feel comfortable looking my best OR my worst around her.
Another intentional action we can do to show love for our friends is to simply tell them we appreciate them. Say thanks to them for inviting you to their homes, especially when it means bringing more mouths to feed and more little rug rats to empty the toy box and make a mess. Acknowledge the fun times and enjoyable conversations.
Do not forget to thank them for listening during a difficult time or for being patient when you have talk way too much about one problem that refuses to leave your mind. Thank them for being a faithful friend even when you have unintentionally overlooked their birthdays or special events in their lives. Let them know what dear friends they are and how much you treasure them.
And this leads to the second category of loving our friends. We also love them by how we respond to them. Most of the time, our friends are pretty likable and easy to get along with. But occasionally, they may let us down. They, too, have families and homes to take care of. There will be times they may forget your birthday, a doctor’s appointment, or some other significant event in your life. They may inadvertently let you down by canceling a get-together, forgetting to return a favor, or failing to follow-up on a concern you shared with them.
Love your friends by dropping the trivial – and sometimes even the not-so-trivial – matters that are not worth harming a genuine, precious friendship. Keep in mind that none of us are perfect, and be patient with your friends when they let you down. Recognize that it does not usually happen, and forgive and forget! This is love in action.
“A friend loves at all times….” Proverbs 17:17a
Alison Lawson has been a part of the Southeastern community for over twelve years. Her husband, Michael, earned Masters of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry degrees from Southeastern, and has been employed at SEBTS as the Director of Campus Security since 2002. Mike and Alison have been married for fifteen years and have three sons whom she home schools: Brandon (7th grade), Nicholas (4th grade), and Zachary (2nd grade). They are members at Wake Cross Roads Baptist Church. Read more about what God is teaching Alison and her family at www.fivefootprints.blogspot.com.
0 comments: