Have you ever noticed how God will give you something to teach to someone else when in reality He plans to teach you something? That happened to me last week.
Forgiveness – A topic that I speak often about when counseling women.
Picture from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/47298
The Thursday before Easter, I was counseling with a young lady and leading her to understand how she needed to forgive someone who had greatly mistreated her and hurt her deeply. I explained to her that we are to forgive because we have been forgiven (Col. 3:13). I explained how unforgiveness would grow to bitterness and anger (Heb 12:14-15). As I always do, I walked her through Ken Sande’s four pledges of forgiveness:
Little did I know that the next few days were going to present a huge opportunity for me to put these principles into action myself. Not only that, I was going to learn firsthand just how difficult they can be. You see over the weekend someone hurt my mother with some very ugly and untrue words. It crushed her and when she relayed the story to me, she sobbed as I held her in my arms. I was so very angry with the person who did it. I talked about the person to several other people wanting them to feel as angry as I did. Repeatedly in my mind, I acted out what I would say and do, given the chance to see this person.
Well, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see the glaring sins that were manifesting in my own heart. I actually felt physically ill. Words I had said many times before rang in my ears, no one can “make” me angry; it is a choice I was making. The anger lasted for about two days, as did the gossiping and role-playing. There was a battle raging inside me. I knew in my heart that I was sinning, but in my own flesh, I didn’t want to do differently. Finally, it all culminated in a moment when I cried out to God,
- I will not think about this incident.
- I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
- I will not talk to others about this incident.
- I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship. (Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande (pg. 85)
Little did I know that the next few days were going to present a huge opportunity for me to put these principles into action myself. Not only that, I was going to learn firsthand just how difficult they can be. You see over the weekend someone hurt my mother with some very ugly and untrue words. It crushed her and when she relayed the story to me, she sobbed as I held her in my arms. I was so very angry with the person who did it. I talked about the person to several other people wanting them to feel as angry as I did. Repeatedly in my mind, I acted out what I would say and do, given the chance to see this person.
“Lord, I don’t want to sin against you, I know it is wrong! Please give me your supernatural strength to handle this situation in a way that brings you glory!”
Truly, in that moment, I felt release. I am still sad about what happened, but I no longer want to dwell on it. I don’t have a burning desire to see the other person hurt. I simply just don’t want to talk about it.
I am so grateful to God for touching my heart with His merciful hand and relieving me of this weight. I am thankful that he loves me enough to help me in my weakness when I cry out.
Ladies, where do you need God to infuse you with His power to change? I challenge you - just ask Him…
By His love,
Elizabeth | April 9, 2013 at 8:44 AM
Thank you for this post. Forgiveness is something that I get the opportunity to work on every day. Thanks for the reminder that with God's Grace I can be relieved of the weight of unforgiveness.