Brother's In Christ

 Reblogged from Our Single Purpose
 May 14, 2012

I have a confession..my hopes is that by confessing this, some of you will confess this along with me and help me feel a little less embarrassed. Ok-here is my confession. Almost every time I used to see a guy, I immediately would judge him in every way possible to determine within the first 3 min whether or not he is my potential husband.
Maybe it is just my strong desire to be married, or maybe it’s my critical judgmental ways, but I can be anywhere and subconsciously be looking for my husband. I can be in church and meet a guy for the first time, or be in a doctors office and make eye contact with the guy in the waiting room, or even be in my car and look at the guy stopped beside me at the red light and immediately decide if he is the one for me! It’s amazing how fast my brain works as soon as I see that there isn’t a ring on his finger! Of course I determine how good he looks-is he attractive? Then I notice how he dresses-does he take care of himself? Then I notice his smile-does he have a good personality? All of these things can drive a girl crazy-especially if you are trying to meet and talk to a guy for the first time! All within the first few min, I can write a guy off just by these stupid subconscious judgmental thoughts because he doesn’t meet my “standards” of my future husband. Looking back, I think I have been this way for a long time! Am I alone in this?

The Lord has totally made me aware of this very stupid thing over the past couple of years. He has even helped me see how I have ruined some great possible guy friendships in the past, all because of this problem I seem to have. One of the biggest lessons I have learned, and boy do I wish I had learned it a lot sooner, is to look at the guys in my lives as BROTHERS IN CHRIST.

Scripture says in Hebrews 10:24-25,

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. “

My question is this: why should this Scripture only apply to our sisters in Christ? We have a responsibility to encourage and love our brothers, just as much as we do our sisters! Now I realize this should be done with caution, as to avoid unnecessary common sense problems, but with a bit of sense, this should not be hard for us. Maybe it’s just me, but, getting this concept has not been easy. I have to remind myself all the time, to get over this subconscious obsession of finding a husband, and remember that these guys are first and foremost my brothers in Christ. Let me testify that this has literally changed my relationships with guys!

I want to challenge you to examine your own life. How do you internally respond when meeting a guy for the first time? Do you instantly judge him as a “potential” or do you see him as a brother. Do you automatically write guys out of your life if they don’t meet your criteria or standards for a husband? How can we as sisters in Christ better encourage and love our single brothers in Christ?

Marlana is a 20 something living in the sunny state of Florida. She loves driving down country roads, going to the beach, and loving on her nieces and nephew. She is currently working on her M.Div. in Women’s Studies at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She loves Jesus and desires to teach and disciple teenage girls and women in the Word of God. Marlana is the visionary for this blog and prays that this will be an encouragement to all.