THIS CUP.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup" Psalm 16:5a NIV.

I know that I have not always had a "taste" for what's been put in my cup. I look around at others' cups and sometimes theirs look a lot more appealing than mine. I often complain and am unwilling to accept my portion. The life that has been handed to me looks bleak and does not always make sense according to my own desires. 

To a small degree I can relate to Jesus in Luke 22 when He said, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me" (ESV). Yes, clearly my cup is nothing in comparison to what Christ was facing, but I have certainly found myself crying out with that same plea.

Have you?

Are there times that you look into your cup at your portion and think, "Surely not! How can this be, Lord?" Perhaps for some there could be feelings of injustice when our circumstances seem unfair. Maybe we experience hopelessness when our lives look dark. Or we feel defeated when we have tried so hard to do the right thing, only to have our good intentions backfire. 

Pain, disappointment, loss... these are all things that devastate and shock us--yet Jesus did promise us trouble in this world. After all, this earth and our bodies groan under the curse--There is no exemption from suffering and hardship, but what will our response be? Let us revisit the passage from earlier.

Luke 22:42, "'Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.'" Jesus accepted his portion and submitted Himself under the Lordship of His Father. In doing so, He experienced great suffering. He loved His Father far more than He loved the taste of His portion. Christ sought first the Kingdom and Glory of God.

We too can learn this response of humbly accepting what is placed before us. Paul said, "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need" (Phil. 4:11-12, emphasis added).

There is marvelous grace available for us to learn how to trust Him with our cup and portion. Only HE can provide the strength that we need in order to walk out this life full of the Spirit. Because if we depend on ourselves, we will surely fail.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26).

Hannah is a Sophomore in the College at Southeastern. She love music and traveling. Hannah is a member at Green Pines Baptist Church. 

Hannah enjoy being a youth ministry worker and worship leader at her church. She comes from a big family of all boys and her youngest brother has Down Syndrome. Working with people who have special needs has become a great passion of hers. She has the blessing of working with an agency that provides services for people with developmental disabilities. 

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K.J. Nally's blog, Answers of Truth
Oct. 6, 2011

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

Every month was a physical reminder of what happened. Every month my emotions warred against my heart of what I knew to be Truth. Why wasn’t this easier? And why did each month seem to force me on an emotional roller coaster? I felt God’s presence in midst of the storm…why did He seem so far off now? Yet, I know He is beside me, guiding me, holding me up by my right arm. His Word promises He will never leave. He always seeks His glory and the good of those who love Him. Yes, I know that is Truth…help me Lord to believe it.

 These words from Psalm 73 are salve to the broken soul. Honestly, it’s been a tough year. My flesh failed me and then my heart was broken in a million pieces. 

On Sunday, October 2^nd it would have been our little baby's due date. Lil’ Bean we called him. I was 9 weeks pregnant when I had a miscarriage—my flesh failed. 

The Story of Lil’ Bean

Nine weeks went by and I was feeling so good. We joked that maybe there wasn’t a baby in my “belly” because I didn’t feel pregnant. Sure, I was tired and ate everything in sight, but I felt great. Excitedly, we arrived at the doctor…it would be Lil’ Bean’s First Picture (ultrasound). As we sat in the room waiting for the doctor, we gave each other a high five and then pumped the air three times toward Heaven, giving God three high fives because this was His perfect work, not ours. We had determined from the first day God blessed us with our baby to have “open hands.” This was God’s little one, entrusted to us to raise Him to be a worshiper of God. The doctor came in and talked for awhile about what to expect and hospital protocol—then it was time for “Baby’s First Picture.”

Silence. This isn’t what an ultrasound was supposed to look like, I thought. Where was my baby? The picture was white with only a small black circle. No heart beat. The doctor didn’t need to say anything, we knew. And our hearts broke. The doctor left the room after a short explanation of what would happen over the next few days. She told me not to blame myself. But, in that moment as my world spun out of control I couldn’t stop the thoughts. I wept in my husband’s strong arms. Slowly I met his gaze and said, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He knew what I meant and grabbed my tear stained face. “Don’t you dare go there,” he sternly warned. “Don’t you dare take credit for what God is doing.” I knew the truth…God was in control, He was faithful, and He was good. But, could I believe that in this moment?

Yes. I could.

When we lost our baby, we cried to the point of exhaustion. It was so sweet falling in love with our first child. It gave us a small glimpse of how God loves us and how His heart must break when people die before knowing their Father; miscarried for eternity. The day after we lost our baby, I prayed to God for strength to praise Him even when I hurt so deeply. I have never felt the nearness of my Lord like I did in the midst of this pain. And even when I felt emotionally drained and spiritually broken the months that followed, He gave me the strength to praise Him even through the pain. You can read the prayer I wrote to God after the miscarriage here.

We still have moments of sadness of what could have been, but we must remind ourselves of truth; preach to ourselves. The truth is that God is good. He is in absolute control for His glory and our best.

What do we do with pain and trials…When God seems far, how do we continue holding onto our faith? 

We must TRUST.

“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal” (Isaiah 24:6).

Trust that God is true and His Word is Truth (Ps. 53:1; Col. 1:15-23; 1 Tim. 3:16-17; Heb. 4:12).

Trust that God loves his children more than we can fathom (1 Jn 3:1; 1 Jn. 4:19; Rom. 8:38-39).

Trust that God wants the best for us, just as any parent does on earth…though He is much wiser (Rom. 8:28-30; 2 Pt. 1:2-10; Jer. 17:8).

Trust that God’s way brings Him the most glory (Ps. 19:1; Ps. 108:4-6; Lk. 2:14).

Trust that God never leaves us alone in pain, but holds our hand and walks with us (Ps. 90:10; Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5).
Trust that God will one day take all pain away when we are with Him in eternity (Jn. 16:33; Jn. 10:10; Rev. 21:4).

Trust that God is good…ALL the time! (Ps. 84; Ps. 73:1; Mk. 10:18).

My pain-filled emotions were good, just not trustworthy. I had to constantly go back to Truth - that these trials are making me more like Jesus for the glory of God!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Know God intimately…before a trial hits. Do not blame God or turn from Him in anger, but cling to the one who died for you so that He could comfort you forever in eternity. David said in Psalm 90:10, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Seek Him friends…Trust Him…see that He is good, even (and especially) in times of pain.

These words from J. C. Ryle have brought me much encouragement:

“Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: ‘He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things’ (Romans 8:32).

See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’"

John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Amen!

K.J. Nally is a writer, teacher, and counselor. She is pursuing her master’s degree in Biblical Counseling, concentrating in women's ministry from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. K.J. and her husband, Dustin, have a passion to fight for Godly marriages, spur on teens to seek purity, and encourage men and women to live obediently to their Creator God.

K.J. and Dustin are marriage and individual counselors at Hope Counseling Center through their church, North Wake. They also work with Converting Hearts Ministries,’ a Christ-centered addictions ministry.

K.J. is also a freelance journalist. Check out more about Christian Living at K.J.’s blog, Answers of Truth.

Trust.

I'm a mom now. They say once you become a mom you worry all the time. Well, they
weren't kidding. It's strange because I've never been one to worry. I'm usually the type
of person who goes with the flow and thinks that everything will work itself out.

Throughout my academic career I never worried that I would fail a class, I trusted that I
would get through college and grad school with no problem. I never worried about my
love life because I trusted that God would find the right husband for me. Even with
finances, no matter how broke we were, I always trusted we would have enough money
to pay the bills.

But now I look at my tiny baby boy and I worry. I stay up at night watching him sleep and
worrying that he's not breathing correctly. I worry about his health and development. I
worry if I'm being a good mother. Am I being the very best I can be? I worry about his
future. Will he love Jesus? Will he make good choices?

I have to stop myself and remember who is in control. I have to trust that God will have
grace on me and my shortcomings as a mother. I have to trust that God will protect my
son. I have to trust that no matter what happens, God is always in control and it is all a
part of His plan.

I'm learning to trust God in a whole new way...now that I'm a mom.

Kristel Acevedo lives in Denver, CO with her husband, Alex, and their son, Liam. They are members of The Summit Church - Denver. She is a graduate of Southeastern Seminary with a MA in Biblical Counseling and is now a stay-at-home mom.