A Letter to Beth Moore

When I was asked to be a guest blogger this month and was told the topic was joy I had difficulty at first trying to think of what to say. That was until I got an email from my mom. My mom is the strongest woman I know. I am not talking about strong physically, although those Denise Austin work outs she has been doing this year have toned her up. What I mean, is that she has been through trials in her life and the strength and joy she displays is powerful. She will be the first to say, however, that the strength and joy she has is all from the Lord and nothing she has done on her own.

I want to share with you part of a letter she wrote recently to Beth Moore. After going to the “Deeper Still” conference in Birmingham, AL, my mom felt compelled to share her story with Beth …

“I was raised in a Christian home and surrounded by loving parents, older brother, twin sister, and a grandmother who lived with us. I thought I was rich even though we lived in a small, 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. I had all I needed because I had the love of my family and knew Jesus loved me. I married my college sweetheart, Terry and moved to Birmingham from Nashville for him to finish his MD. He was 33 when he died in a car accident the day before Easter, 1988. Brandon was 5 and Meredith was 4. The life we had planned was over. I felt like I had lost half of me. But God did not leave me!! I remember looking out the window with my twin, Pam, on that Easter before dawn and saying, ‘Because Jesus is alive, Terry is alive, and we’ll be together again!’ I felt peace in the midst of anguish. As the months went by I marveled at how I was not depressed. Sad, sometimes all day, and crying but not depressed. I volunteered to contact some singles about a conference my church had planned. I called a woman who had been widowed for 10 years and suffered with depression. When I finished speaking with her, I worried about what my life would be like in 10 years. All that night I tossed and turned thinking about the fact that I could be depressed like her. The next morning after taking my children to preschool, I sat at my kitchen table and started a letter to my sister. I remember looking up from the letter and saying aloud, ‘I refuse to be depressed. I have so much to be thankful for!’ At that instant I felt a coolness across my shoulders and a lifting of a weight off my shoulders. It felt as if 50 pounds had been lifted from my shoulders. At that same time I was filled with joy! I didn’t realize at the time that it was joy. I remember looking around my kitchen and thinking how bright everything looked! The sun was brighter; the leaves on the trees were so green! I had to run an errand and pick up my children. In the store I noticed that everyone was smiling at me! I didn’t realize that I was smiling at them and they were returning my smile! I pondered what had happened. I was putting the children’s clothes away later that day and it came to me as JOY! God had taken my grief and replaced it with joy! I got on the phone and called all my family and friends and told them. What a healing God had given me! (…) The grief I felt for 9 months was gone and never returned. ‘Do not be grieved for the joy of the Lord is my strength!’

What a joy it was for me to be raised by a mother who would not be defeated by difficultly but praised God for the joy he brought into her life.  I hope this story can encourage you during difficult times to cling to the Father who loves you and wants you to find joy in Him.

“And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

Meredith Cleveland is the wife of Brad, a student at SEBTS studying to get his Masters of Divinity in Worship Leadership and is currently on staff at Bay Leaf Baptist Church. Meredith is completing her Masters of Counseling through Liberty University. Meredith spends her time teaching ballet, being a nanny, and working as an assistant to a local optometrist.