Every day I am reminded to be joyful, reminded by Scripture, my husband, the people around me, and my precious (I’m a little biased) baby girl. Life has drastically changed since adding HG to our family. I worry a lot. I get stressed out about things that I would have never even thought to stress out about a few months ago. My days are full of changing diapers, feeding, and cleaning. At times it’s hard to find joy with my monotonous routine.
The Lord is gently reminding me that joy is not something I
produce, but comes from Him. It is the
joy that I have through Christ that overflows into my own life. Looking back at the first month of HG’s life, I see how the Lord has provided a joyful heart for me even when I
didn’t realize it. You see, when a baby
is crying wailing throughout the night and you have done everything in
your power to comfort her, you do not have joy. There is no way you can produce any kind of joy at 2 a.m. after a week of
sleepless nights. It is at those breaking
points that I have to ask the Lord to provide me with a joyful heart. I want to be patient and love my newborn
well, but my selfish heart fights being joyful in those times.
I can distinctly
remember one night where I was up with HG, and we were both crying and having
trouble with feeding. I remember holding
her to my chest and telling her the story of Jesus. I started from Genesis and went through the
promise of Jesus returning one day. There
was stillness. No crying (from her or
me), just a peace. In that moment I was
greatly reminded of the joy that Jesus brings us, and of the hope that He gives
to me, a lowly sinner, every day. A rush
of emotions hit me, possibly some from post-pregnancy wacked up hormones, but
the emotion of thankfulness of the Gospel hit me so hard that tears began to fall
down my face.
In Jerry Bridges book, The
Discipline of Grace, he talks about how we must preach the Gospel to
ourselves daily, not just on Sundays
and at small group, but daily. When we
wake up in the morning, change diapers, study for a test, cook dinner, and
finally lay our heads down at night, we should mediate on the Gospel. Preaching the gospel to ourselves daily
reminds us of the joy that we have in Christ. I pray that I would preach the Gospel to myself daily, because goodness
gracious I need it!
Joyful reminders hit me from all over; from a little smiling
face, to my wonderful husband, to our supportive family and friends, but most
importantly, from the Gospel.
Laura and her husband L moved to Wake Forest in May 2010. Once they arrived at SEBTS, God directed
their hearts to overseas missions. L and Laura are in the 2+2 program and will be deploying in 2013. This past September they welcomed HG to their family. Laura is a
member of The Summit and works part-time in the Women’s Life Office.